Someone once asked our grand-daughter, Madeleine, if she had any siblings. “Well,” she said. “Our family is somewhat complicated.”
I thought of this Easter Sunday, as we all got together for church and/or lunch at our house. Madeleine has two brothers and two sisters. Her seventeen year old stepbrother Kai was adopted by Madeleine’s step-dad, Brett, when he married Kai’s mother. Together Brett and Kai’s mother had Chesney, Madeleine’s 8 year old step-sister. Madeleine and her sister, Lena, are the children of our daughter, Hildy and her first partner, Felipe. When they split up, Hildy married Brett and together they have my card-playing buddy, Ben.
At our Easter service Ted and I and our son, Nat and his girlfriend, Ellen, sat with Madeleine and Lena’s biological grandfather, Polo, and his long time partner Janice. We have known and loved them for many years. We have a shared history, and on Sunday when Lena was serving and Madeleine was both crucifer and m.c., we four grandparents were both proud and grateful.
Our daughter Hildy sat behind us with her husband Brett and Chesney and Ben. Kai slept in, as 17 year olds are wont to do, but also as 17 year olds are wont to do, he showed up for the food at noon.
Our son, Max and his wife, Carrie, sat across from us with their children, Peyton and Lexi (who was celebrating her first Easter) and Carrie’s parents and her brother, Scott.
Polo and Janice were having their own celebration, but Brett’s mum and Dad, Carol and Vern joined us. Ted and Vern talked about Miles Davis. The kids played badminton on the front lawn, and we all elbowed one another out of the way for the chance to hold Lexi. In all, there were 14 adults and all 7 grandchildren at our house for Easter. It was complicated, but it was also very, very nice.
The dedication for my new book “The Nesting Dolls” reads:
To our grandchildren: Kai, Madeleine, Lena, Chesney, Ben, Peyton and Alexandra Kate Bowen, with love and gratitude.
That just about sums it up.